The Book You Want Everyone You Love To Read

Some books promise to change your life. This one gently suggests that your life might improve if, for example, you stopped having the same argument in different outfits. And then—crucially—it gives you a few ways to do that without moving to a cabin or “cutting out toxic people” like you’re pruning a houseplant.

The Book You Want Everyone You Love To Read (2023) by Philippa Perry, published by Cornerstone Press, ISBN: 9781529918434. Condition: Good. As sold by Crappy Old Books.

The title is doing a lot of work, isn’t it? It’s the literary equivalent of sliding a book across the table and saying, “No pressure… but this might help.” Which is to say: it’s a relationship book, but not the kind that demands you transform into a serene communications robot who never gets defensive and always speaks in perfectly timed “I feel” statements. Philippa Perry’s approach is more human: warm, practical, gently funny, and refreshingly uninterested in pretending relationships are tidy.

This book is about the messy, daily mechanics of loving people:

• why we react the way we do (often unhelpfully, often on autopilot)

• how we miscommunicate with surgical precision

• how old patterns sneak into new relationships wearing a fake moustache

• how to argue better (or at least argue in a way that doesn’t end with someone announcing they’re “fine” in a tone that could curdle milk)

It’s also a book that understands the secret truth of “relationship advice”: most of it is not about the other person being wrong, it’s about you being triggered, tired, hungry, scared, or quietly convinced you’re about to be abandoned because of something that happened in 1997. Perry has a knack for laying that out without making you feel like a terrible person. More like: a normal person with a nervous system and some history.

And yes, you’ll read passages and think:

• “Oh. That’s me.”

• “Oh no. That’s definitely me.”

• “Wait, is that also my partner?”

• “Should I casually leave this open on the sofa?”

(Answer: of course you should. Subtlety is a cherished relationship skill.)

Condition: Good. Solid, readable, presentable — the kind of copy that looks like it’s been owned by someone who actually intended to improve their emotional literacy, rather than just buying the book and hoping osmosis would do the rest. Expect a dependable second-hand companion for self-reflection, sofa reading, and quietly diagnosing your own conversational habits mid-sentence.

Perfect for:

• anyone in a relationship (romantic, family, friend, colleague, person you share a kitchen with)

• people who want to communicate better without becoming a therapist

• those who suspect they might be repeating patterns but would like to do it less

• gift-buyers with good intentions and a brave heart

Less suited to:

• people who firmly believe they are always right and have never overreacted

• anyone allergic to self-awareness

• those who prefer conflict resolution via sulking, door-slamming, or “nothing’s wrong”

In short: a smart, kind, quietly game-changing book about how we love, how we mess it up, and how we can do better — without pretending we’re perfect. You’ll want everyone you love to read it, yes. And then you’ll realise the punchline is that you probably need to read it too.

Available now from Crappy Old Books, where we sell pre-owned wisdom with a bit of shelf wear and absolutely no judgement.

Keep browsing: See more Self-Help books Other books by Philippa Perry